Okay, so the first thing you need to know about this movie is that it is most definitely NOT for kids. That’s one thing that people need to get out of their heads: just because it’s about superheroes or based on a comic book, that does not mean it’s appropriate for children. I start out with that because apparently ratings aren’t a big enough clue for people in this regard considering Dark Knight’s PG-13 rating and the number of young children that I saw being taken to showings of it.

The second thing you need to know is that Kick-Ass is violent. Unrepentantly so. If you’re offended by violence or foul language, you’d be best off staying home. Roger Ebert called it ‘Morally reprehensible’… Well, perhaps so, but fortunately, I don’t rely on movies and television to tell me what’s moral and/or right.

There will be spoilers in this review, so if you haven’t seen the film and don’t want to have plot points spoiled, you should stop reading here.

The movie follows the adventures of an average high school student who has the rather ill-considered idea of becoming the first real superhero. To this end, he orders himself a wetsuit that he finds on sale online and dubs himself ‘Kick Ass’. His first outing ends badly; he attempts to stop a couple guys who are in the process of breaking into a car and ends up getting stabbed by one of them before they run off, then is further taken out by a hit and run when he staggered off. After many months in the hospital which resulted in a lot of his skeleton being reinforced with metal plates and pins and his nerve endings being impacted (resulting in a much higher pain threshold), you’d think that Kick Ass would call it a day…. but you’d be wrong.

Within days of being released from the hospital, Kick Ass is back on the street on a mission to help people, starting with finding a lost cat. However, Kick Ass finds bigger fish to fry as he inadvertently stumbles upon a man being chased and beaten by three thugs in a coffee shop parking lot. He intervenes, getting his ass kicked thoroughly while half a dozen people in the coffee shop watch and film it on their cell phones. When challenged by one of the thugs as to why he would be willing to throw his life away for the sake of one ‘dirt bag’, Kick Ass responds with a line (I can’t remember the exact verbiage, unfortunately) about three guys kicking one dude’s ass while a bunch of people watch and do nothing? Damn right, bring it on! 

Here’s the thing though… Kick Ass’ plot, despite the movie being named for him, is not the actual main story line of the movie; it’s actually about Big Daddy and Hit Girl’s mission to bring down the evil drug dealer Frank D’Amico who sent Big Daddy up the river because he was a cop who wouldn’t take a bribe. Without doubt, Big Daddy is my favorite Nicholas Cage character to date. He’s completely demented, interested primarily in vengeance, but he does love his daughter is interested in providing her with the skills that she’ll need to survive in the brutal and unforgiving world that they live in. 

Now, much has been made about Hit Girl’s potty mouth and the fact that she’s a bloodthirsty and frighteningly efficient little killer. Some have argued that they should have made her older, in her middle-teens, for example. I disagree. The point of the character is to shock and to illustrate the depths of Big Daddy’s obsession. It has also been commented that one would expect an 11 year old to react more when she’s killed someone… or MANY someone’s, as is the case with Hit Girl. Again, I disagree. She’s been desensitized to the violence and taught to see the criminals that she’s killing as little more than animals. They’re unimportant to her. She feels no empathy for them because she’s been taught that they’re not worthy of her sympathy.

In their first meeting, Kick Ass is horrified by Hit Girl and Big Daddy and feels decidedly inferior as they have what he thinks of as real costumes, training, and the sort of weapons you would expect a dark hero to utilize. However, although Hit Girl and Big Daddy might have the gear, they don’t have the heart that Kick Ass has. Big Daddy is interested only in bringing down D’Amico. Hit Girl is only interested in earning Big Daddy’s approval. Kick Ass, on the other hand, just wants to help people.

With Big Daddy and Hit Girl racking up a major body count on D’Amico’s people, and Kick Ass becoming an internet sensation which puts him into the media spotlight, D’Amico makes the leap of logic that it must be Kick Ass who is taking out his men… and so he sets a trap for him. D’Amico’s son, Chris, comes up with the idea of creating a fellow superhero for Kick Ass to befriend and come to trust so that he can be lured into a trap. D’Amico provides Chris with the costume, car and other accessories to become ‘Red Mist’. 

Red Mist does meet up with Kick Ass and leads him into the intended trap set up by D’Amico at Frank’s Lumber Yard, but by the time the two kids get there, Big Daddy has already gone through and taken out all of D’Amico’s men who were waiting to kill Kick Ass and set the warehouse on fire. After Red Mist runs inside, Kick Ass follows his new friend inside and both of them nearly get killed while Red Mist retrieves (incongruously) a teddy bear which was hidden inside the warehouse.

After dropping Kick Ass off, Red Mist returns to his father’s palatial penthouse apartment and reveals that the teddy bear is actually a nanny cam that Chris had hidden inside so he could keep an eye on the guys in the warehouse after he delivered Kick Ass. The recording reveals Big Daddy’s killing spree and prompts D’Amico to order Chris to get Kick Ass to contact his fellow heroes, leading D’Amico and his goons to them at one of their safe houses. Hit Girl is shot and left for dead while Kick Ass and Big Daddy are hauled off to an unknown location by the bad guys while Chris’ body guard takes the bazooka that was among the weapons at the safe house as a trophy.

Red Mist shortly thereafter gets a wake up call as to the nature of his father when he orders not only Big Daddy tortured and unmasked, but Kick Ass as well, despite Chris’ pleas with him to let Kick Ass go. D’Amico determines that Big Daddy and Kick Ass will serve as an example to other would-be heroes that it would be detrimental to their health to stand up against the bad guys by broadcasting the entire thing live on the internet. 

The beatings are brutal and undeniably difficult to watch, but when Hit Girl precipitously comes to the rescue just before they can burn Big Daddy and Kick Ass alive, the fight is swift and vicious and has a nice homage to first person shooter video games. Unfortunately, the area around Big Daddy is lit on fire and he is fatally burned, but not before he gets a chance to tell Hit Girl that she did good and that he loves her. 

After that, Kick Ass realizes that Hit Girl is, indeed, just a little girl who has lost the only family she had left and offers to take her back to his house with him, intending to give her a chance to have a family with him and his father. However, he quickly sees that Hit Girl has no intention of hanging up her purple wig just yet and that she has every intention of avenging her father’s death… and that if she tries to do it alone, she’ll get herself killed. Rather reluctantly, Kick Ass agrees to help her. She then shows him Big Daddy’s secret weapon and instructs him to read the instruction manual as he’ll be using it in about five minutes.

Cut to D’Amico’s building which has been locked down and there’s Hit Girl in her civilian guise, using her cute pigtails and plaid-skirt schoolgirl outfit to con the lobby guards into giving her entrance to the building. At that point, the true fury of Hit Girl is unleashed as she proceeds to parkour and shoot her way through a full half-dozen men on her own before running out of ammo and getting pinned down by reinforcements. Kick Ass comes to her rescue, using the jet pack with twin over-the-shoulder mini-guns to take out the remaining guards. 

Hit Girl goes after D’Amico while Kick Ass squares off against Red Mist. Both fights are well choreographed, but the fight between D’Amico and Hit Girl is especially brutal, simply for the fact of it being a grown man beating on a little girl and showing evident relish in doing so. Although Hit Girl is small and fast, D’Amico is much stronger than she is and when he -does- land a blow, it absolutely staggers her. Eventually, he manages to hurt her enough that she can’t fight any longer and he gets his hands on his gun. Just as he’s about to pull the trigger on Hit Girl, however, Kick Ass shows up and shoots the bazooka at D’Amico from about ten feet away (which is WELL inside the arming range of the rocket) which carries D’Amico out the window and almost to the next building before exploding.

Hit Girl and Kick Ass take off as Red Mist reappears, carrying the samurai sword he’d found in his father’s dojo, too late to continue the fight.

The wrap up of the movie shows Hit Girl being placed into the custody of Big Daddy’s former partner from when he was a cop and enrolling in Kick Ass’ high school, Kick Ass and his friend getting their girls, and Red Mist setting himself up as a bad guy for the sequel. There’s also mention of other heroes popping up to continue what Kick Ass, Big Daddy, and Hit Girl started in cleaning up the streets.

Of course, there are other plot lines that I’m not bringing up, including a romance and the cop partner, among other things. 

Overall, Kick-Ass is a good film to watch if you have a sense of humor and aren’t easily offended by violent things being done by unexpected people. I HIGHLY recommend it.